Halloween Eve

What a week, though.

I've aways been the kind of person who feels everything too much. Hurt, affection, anger. I wear my heart too close to my skin some days, other days it's almost impossible to get to. I'm difficult.
I'm going to New York. New York City, with the American Honors Choir. I wrote about this a while back. But now it's actually happening. I'm extatic, of course..but I'm acting really strangely about it.
My first thought after I got over the initial excitement? "Oh, well. It must not be that big of a deal if I made it. Maybe they let everyone in. Or maybe they just wanted diversity..I'm probably the only one from Mississippi and all.

I always do that. I remember when I made the Southern Division Honor Choir..when I got the letter I thought "Oh well. That's weird. Maybe they aren't really that specific about who they let in." Now my parents are telling everyone they come in contact with that I made this new choir..and everyone's fussing about it. And I kinda want to tell everyone it isn't that huge of a deal.
Doesn't that just not make any sense at all? I like attention, I'm not gonna lie. I like being on stage, and I like people thinking that I'm talented. So I don't understand why when people brag on me, I want to hide?
Strange.

I mean, not that I've ever claimed to be anything else.

Tomorrow is Monday again, it always does roll around eventually. I'll take it with a smile. I've got a lot of explaining to do about my weekend, but I'm ready to see my beautiful friends.
I'm in one of my poetic moods, where I listen to my Indie, singer/songwriter music and I drink hot chocolate. I watch old musicals and sing along.

It's a good day. I'm breathing, my God is alive. Thanks to all you cool people who keep reading my ramblings.

Lovelovelove.
Anna

Have I Been On Your Mind?

Please. Let me tell you about the wonderful month that I've had.

Are you shocked and taken aback?
"What's this? A happy blog post from Anna?? *looks to see if the sky is falling*"
Nope. It's just been a good few weeks.

I know I've dropped off the face of the blogging world, but it's been busy.

Running from Lions

Hey, you awesome reader, you. I'm amazed that you've taken time out of your life to read my crazy written brain. Thanks in advance.

The past two weeks have been insane. This week is midterms, we had a showchoir performance today ( I will be returning to this topic shortly), and I'm in my highschool's beauty pageant on Saturday,

Now I'm gonna cover those things in reverse order. You ready?

Beauty Pageants. I'm the daughter of a feminist and stubborn man, hence, my love for pageants has never been huge. I feel like it's kind of going back on everything women are taught as little girls. "It's what's on the inside that counts", and so forth. Yet, pageants still exist. Where the express purpose of the thing is to judge people strictly on what they look like.

Not counting the one Saturday, I've been in one pageant in my whole life. It was in the eighth grade, and I did NOT need to be in anything where I was judged on my outsides at that point in my life. Can you say awkward phase?

But I decided to be a part of it this year. Because as much as I disagree with the concept, I like looking pretty. I like putting on a dress and feeling good about myself. It's also my last year to be a part of it. So, this Saturday, I'll be parading around the stage with the rest of them.

Moving on: the show today. My choir went to another highschool to perform for their student body. I don't think I've ever felt so invigorated after a show. It was like I was high on drugs. I put more than a hundred percent into it. Singing in front of people is such an adrenaline rush. I'll do it my whole life if the Lord lets me.

If my voice was about five times bigger, I'd ignore college and go to New York. If I can get that kind of rush singing on a gym floor, I'm pretty sure the endorphins from performing on a stage in NY would kill me dead.

Aand finally. School. The one part of my life I'm supposed to be worried about the most, that I'm actually worried about the least. I really have been slacking something serious lately, I don't know what's gotten into me. If I don't shape up soon my parents are going to have my head on a platter. Nine weeks tests (Midterms) may possibly cause me to be institutionalized or something.

Now for random-whatever's- in- Anna's-head time:

Guys: if we've ever dated or had a relationship at all, and you try to talk to any of my friends, they will tell me. And they won't respond to your nonsense. So just stop it.

I actually had more things I was going to write about, but all the song lyrics storming through my brain are distracting me.

So, farewell.

Oh yeah! Wisdom. And I know the perfect source.

Ecclesiastes 9:11-18.

"Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. For man does not know his time. Like fish that are taken with an evil net, and like birds that are caught in a snare, so the children of man are snared at an evil time, when it suddenly falls upon them.

I have seen this example of wisdom under the sun, and it seemed great to me.

There was a little city with few men in it, and a great king came against it and besieged it, building great works against it.

But there was a found in it a poor, wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city.

Yet no one remembered that poor man.

But I say that wisdom is better than might, though the poor man's wisdom is despised and his words are not heard.

The words of the wise heard in quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.

Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good."

Foolishly,

Anna