The Best I Ever Had.

Hey there, you lovely readers. You're all looking especially fantastic today.

The past few months, weeks have been crazy. So busy. Once school started back everything got really serious really fast. My grades, choir music, college preparation. It all sort of came tumbling down.

For example. At the moment I've got about seventeen songs that I'm in the process of learning. Eleven of those are for honor choirs. Speaking of that..I GET TO GO TO NEW YORK IN A FEW WEEKS. I cannot express how excited I am.
All-State honor choir tryouts are a week from this Thursday. I'm not ready. My rythms are off, and my German is not even mediocre. Hopefully Jesus will be smiling on me that day.

We got report cards the first week back at school, and I kind of had a mini panic attack. C's don't look so bad to some people, but for the girl who is supposed to graduate with honors and get academic college scholarships? They look pretty bad. I keep thinking any minute I'm going to get called into the office and the principal is going to tell me that he's so sorry, but they're revoking my National Honors Society presidency, my "Most Likely to Succeed" award, kicking me off Scholars' bowl, and making someone else Star Student.
That fear hasn't become reality yet. And it won't. Thankfully, I got a new math teacher. The last one was a super sweet woman, but I had no idea what she was saying the whole semester. I was un-learning things in that class. With the new woman teaching I've already made a ton of good grades. The next progress report will be better.

Last night I had a nightmare that I went to Ole Miss thinking I was in the Honors College. I went to my first honors class, and sat down. It was so cool. Then halfway through his lecture, the professor stops, points at me, and goes "Wait. What are you doing here?? You didn't get all of your teacher reccomendations in! Get out!" 
So I did. Everyone laughed.
Then I woke up and realized that I, in fact, didn't have all my teacher reccomendations. And the deadline was yesterday. The teacher tried to get her email in, but the server was crashed. Probably by the rest of the other procrastinating, loser, smart-people wannabees trying to get their stuff in last minute. I just have to trust that I'll end up where I'm supposed to, honors college or not.

I went shopping with my best friends today. First off, I hate shopping. I love my body until I start trying to put clothes on it. Things aren't shaped like I am. But today was wonderful. I'm gonna miss those girls so much.

I want to become more distinctive-looking when I go to college. I really don't want to get lost in the sea of people, you know? I want people to go into a store, see something, and say "that looks like something Anna would wear." Because right now, I'm just kind of in between a bunch of things. One of my biggest fears is not being myself anymore..it goes much deeper than clothing, of course, but it covers that aspect too. The thing is, I'm still working on what "myself" is.

I wanted to get my ears pierced again today. Mama said no. Surprise surprise. Ah well, it can wait a few months.

But all in all, I can't really complain about anything much. I don't have a thumbnail at the moment, which is kind of not cool, but I'm dealing with it.
I'm trying really hard to go one day at a time as much as I can. It's hard.

But I've got friends that never cease to make me laugh, a family that loves me. Comfy sweatpants, dinner in the oven. I've got a guy that treats me like a queen, and a song for every silence.

That's all for now, thanks for reading.
Love,
Anna