Hello, exhaustion.

Gosh I'm tired. If someone came and attacked me right now, I doubt I'd have much of a reaction; because all the adrenaline is gone from my body.

I'm not just physically tired, I'm emotionally drained. I've been so over emotional over the past few weeks that now I'm just done. Getting excited seems like a foreign concept.

My friends and I went to Six Flags today! (even putting that exclamation point drains me) We went on four roller coasters, and that was basically it. On the last one, I blacked out for a second or two; so that turned me off towards coasters for the rest of the time.

Speaking of my friends.. They're all too pretty. I feel bad about myself just walking in a room with them. I don't consider myself ugly, but compared to them I look like a twelve year old. Everyone tells me I'll be thankful for my young looks later, but I don't care about later. Right now it's lame.
I mean, is it too much to ask for some boobs already? I'm sixteen, and still completely small. People tell me I'm big "proportionally" but just not compared to anyone else. I hate it. I don't feel sexy or pretty, I feel like people think I'm still in Elementary school. I'm seriously considering a boob job when I get old enough.

As for guys? Well, to them I'm "cute" or "beautiful"..but it's never enough to make any of them stick around for any length of time. It's not exactly an ego boost.

Next week I'm off to Student Life, and I'm completely worried about it. I'm scared my brother will act up and I won't be able to stop him, I'm scared of making people mad at me(long story), I'm worried that I won't be able to concentrate on Jesus at all while I'm there because of all the other things going on.

Summer is almost over, and I've become no closer to where I wanted myself to be this time last year. It's scary. I feel like I'm racing against time or something.

I could cry, but I couldn't give a logical reason for it. I'm just being sixteen. My emotions are the only things that go along with my age.

I'm tired, have I mentioned that?

Later,
Anna