The Marrying Kind.

I got the book "Every Young Woman's Battle" this weekend, and I'm hooked. It speaks so directly to my situation now that I have no one to thank but God for getting it into my hands.
It is pure gold, I'm telling you. If you're reading this and you want to borrow it from me, text me and I'll give it willingly. Or I'll buy you a copy myself.

I'm about to quote a whole paragraph. Get ready.

"The 'Messiah complex' refers to the tendency for caring people to become rescuers who try to deliver others from their problems and difficult life circumstances. At times, almost all of us want to be like Messiahs, saving people from their dysfunctional families, enslaving addictions, or self-destructive lifestyles....
[But when people] try to be rescuers, the rescuers almost always end up being hurt. Even so [we are] still tempted at tomes to be like a messiah. [A friend states] 'It would be nice if I could rescue people from their pain and release them from their problems...but whenever I am tempted to try taking on that role, I remember how powerless I am and I think about what happened to the real Messiah. He was crucified."

This is me all over, up and down, anyway you look at it. I like to strap on my cape and save the planet. But I have to realize that while I may be on this earth to help people, I cannot fix anyone or anything myself. This is one of those many things I'm working on.

Also,
"Be vigilant over your body. Remember, where a woman's heart goes, her body longs to follow.... However, the wise young woman who takes things slowly, carefully guarding her heart..will walk down the aisle towards her groom carrying a treasure that is far greater than riches. A whole heart."

I feel like everyone (including myself) gets so caught up in the physical definition of virginity, the other uses and meanings of the word are lost. I remember a camp counselor telling me, "Your dress may be white, but it can still be not perfect."
So my white dress, at this point, may not fit me so well. It may have some emotional dirt around the edges.
If you're reading this and thinking "at least your dress is white. Mine's borderline black."
I've got good news. I know a fantastic drycleaner/tailor/dressmaker. You and I can be white as snow in no time.

SN: I refuse to be ashamed about discussing sex and sexuality on this blog. To quote my book, yet again,
"You can be wise AND innocent at the same time."
So if me saying the S word bothers you, I'm sorry. But hey. My blog.

Back on the topic. Maintaining emotional virginity is just as hard, if not harder, to keep up as the physical kind. Guys lust with their eyes, women lust with their feelings. Compromising yourself emotionally or any other way is so easy when you've got butterflies in your stomach, let me just tell you.
Guys get turned on by what they see. Women? It's all about how we feel. So to keep our emotions guarded is as hard as guys trying to keep their bodies guarded.
If you're a guy, and this is news to you, keep it in mind the next time you start telling a girl what she wants to hear, please.

I pray for my future husband, and I pray that he will be able to tolerate me. I pray that God guards him as He's helping me guard myself.

My Grandaddy used to say he'd have to use a stick to keep the boys off me when I grew up. As I grew up, I realized I didn't need a stick. I needed a whole lot more. Not around me, but around my heart. Just like every other woman and man on the face of the planet.

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the Heavens. Your faithfulness stretches to the sky. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains... How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among [women] find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights."

Psalm 36:5-8


Hiding until then,
Anna