I don't know where to start.

You know how it feels when you think you have everything in place, then someone jumps in and blows it all up?
That's how I feel at the moment.

There's this guy. I've known him for a while and always thought he was cute..but Tuesday we started texting. Now I don't even know what planet I'm on, I'm that confused.
I like him. Well, I think I do. I like the him I know so far. He's funny, cute, honest, and completely sweet. I didn't think I could ever see myself with him, but there's just something about him that confuses that notion too.
I find myself happy to see his name pop up in my phone, my face gets red when he looks right at me. I just don't know anymore.
He's not my "perfect guy", true. But he's mixing me up.

When he tells me something, I believe him. I've believed guys before and ended up broken, but I can't help it.

I don't know how we'd be able to make anything work out. He's going to college next week, after all.

Maybe I'm just psyched out, and this is nothing. Maybe I'm just hormonal and crazy. Maybe this is just another failed attempt,
But what if it isn't?

I'm scared of relationships. I'm scared to let anyone close to me, because I don't know what they'll think if they look too closely. I'm scared of messing things up, and of being used. I distance myself inmedietly from anyone who gets too interested.
But I have to jump sometime. I could die tomorrow, and never get another chance.

I can't live my whole life in a corner by myself and then just get married randomly one day. I've got to chill out, and let people in.

That's all I have for tonight..
Love,
Anna.