So I'm in a weird mood.
I went to a friends house after showchoir practice Friday, along with five other girls. And it was there that I realized; we're not the same people we were in the sixth grade. Not only are we more attractive on the outside (thank goodness), our insides are different too. The things that we had in common that forged our friendship are disappearing. The only question is- do we have enough new material to continue the song?
We graduate in a year and a half. We're going to go off and live our lives. And that makes me scared. I don't want to grow up, because I'm scared that means growing apart.
Sometimes I look around at my friends, realize how different I am than all of them, and I freak out. We're all such different people. Things aren't the same. I piddled around and sped through my childhood.
Now's the time when people start looking at us and expecting us to decide for ourselves, make our own way, know right from wrong. We have to start being our own selves, or get lost in the crowd. I know all of my friends are making their own way, but I'm terrified that the way I'm headed doesn't end up the same place theirs does.
The girls I've had as best friends since Elementary are changing, and so am I. Am I the only one who thinks like this? Sometimes I think that I must be.
School starts next week. The beginning of my junior year. I'll start touring colleges, taking the ACT, go to prom. I can't believe I've gotten this far in life and not noticed until now. I look at these people I've known for years, and it's like I have smoke in my eyes. I can't see past so far, because I don't know them like I used to.
I honestly can also say that none of them know me like they used to, either.
I'm scared, because I can't see what comes next. I can't fathom what life will be like this time next year. All my constants are variables all of a sudden. I don't know what my next step is, or if there's even ground to catch me.
Am I the only one who thinks like this? I sometimes think that I must be.
About Me
- Anna*
- I'm Anna. I'm not like anyone else I know. I sing, I dance. I fall down and I get up again. I love to love, and I love to laugh. I've cried before and I'll cry again, but the sun keeps coming back out. I love Jesus, He saved me when I didn't have a place or a friend in the world. Enjoy my blog, I've written it just for you. Always, Anna
No worries, I think the same things all the time. I think it's a part of growing up. And to be honest, I'm not taking it well. I have one friend who seems generally interested in staying together, even though we are completely different people. If she hadn't put so much effort into it, we probably would've stopped talking because I never even realized I was losing her. Sometimes I actually don't even want to see her. How sad is that?
ReplyDeleteAnywho, thanks for following. I'm glad you found me, I like your blog.
Peace,
<3